Personality and Pain Perception: The Lens Within

07-06-2025

By Dr. Howard Friedman MD | Veteran | U.S. Army Medical Corps | Internal Medicine | HHOM LLC

Through the fracture of pain, we glimpse the truth of perception—what we see is shaped by who we are. Healing begins when we dare to look within.

You walk through fire—yet call it light,

While others stumble into night

The wound is real, the path is wide,

But much depends on what’s inside.

For pain is felt, but also named—

And healing flows where self’s reclaimed.

----Dr. Howard Friedman MD

Introduction: The You That Interprets the World

Pain isn’t just physical. It’s interpreted—filtered through your beliefs, experiences, and personality.

Some feel deeply but quietly. Others seem invincible—until they break.

Perspective isn't weakness or strength. It’s a lens. And that lens determines what you notice, what you dismiss, and what you survive.

The field of psychology identifies five core personality traits—broad dimensions that shape how we respond to life. These traits are influenced by genetics, environment, and lived experience. Most of us are a blend. They tend to be stable—but they’re not immovable.

And while personality defines our baseline, perception is what we build on top. The good news? Perception can be changed.

What Is Personality, Really?

The five major personality traits (often called the “Big Five”) include:

• Openness: Creativity, imagination, curiosity.

• Conscientiousness: Responsibility, self-discipline, organization.

• Extraversion: Sociability, assertiveness, energy from being with others.

• Agreeableness: Kindness, empathy, harmony-seeking.

• Neuroticism: Tendency toward anxiety, emotional reactivity, and vulnerability to stress.

We each carry a mix. A high level of neuroticism, for example, may make physical pain feel worse. On the other hand, conscientiousness often predicts better treatment adherence—especially in veterans. Traits like optimism and resilience are linked to improved outcomes in PTSD, chronic pain, and even heart disease.

Perspective as a Survival Tool

The military trains perception: Adapt. Overcome. Don’t complain.

But what protects you in combat can hurt you in healing. The belief that “I’m fine” can become a mask. Behind it, the soul may be crumbling.

In 2022, a VA study found that veterans who scored high on stoic endurance delayed seeking treatment for depression and sleep disorders.

Perception is not fixed. It’s a tool—and a choice. Think of it like a coat. You can take it off, try on another, or stitch a new one from your experience.

Even the classic “glass half full” scenario? That’s perception. And it can shift.

Changing the Lens

How do we begin to change how we see?

Through:

• Mindfulness – noticing without judgment

• Therapy – particularly narrative or cognitive behavioral therapy

• Connection – talking, writing, reflecting.

  
  

Veterans who re-tell their story in therapy often experience relief—not because facts change, but because meaning does.

Cognitive reframing—a cornerstone of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy—can literally rewire how the brain processes trauma and stress.

At Howard’s House of Medicine, we understand that personality and pain perception are deeply intertwined—and recognizing that link is key to meaningful healing. Current research supports the connection between personality and pain perception, especially in veterans managing chronic conditions and emotional trauma.

The Takeaway: You’re Not Just a Diagnosis

A diagnosis tells you what’s wrong.Your perspective determines what’s possible.

Healing isn’t distraction. It isn’t a pill. It’s a return—To your voice,To your values,To your vision.

There’s no “correct” personality. No single “right” perception.

What matters is this: The way you’ve seen the world was shaped by survival. But the way you choose to interpret it? That’s the beginning of freedom.

Thank you for reading. At Howard’s House of Medicine, we maintain a free, ever-growing library of blogs for veterans and their families. Read at your own pace. Reclaim at your own speed.

I’m not just scars and faded skin—

I’m who I am when looking in.

If pain must speak, then let it say:

This soul still grows. I heal my way.

—Dr. Howard Friedman MD

Board-Certified | Internal Medicine | Veteran | U.S. Army Medical Corps

Founder of Howard’s House of Medicine (HHOM LLC)

https://www.hhomllc.com

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: Can your personality really influence how much pain you feel?

A: Yes. Research shows that personality traits—especially neuroticism—can heighten pain sensitivity and emotional distress. People with high neuroticism often experience more intense physical symptoms and are more vulnerable to chronic conditions. Meanwhile, traits like conscientiousness and optimism are linked to better coping, faster recovery, and improved treatment outcomes. Your personality isn’t just who you are—it’s part of how you heal.

Q: Is it possible to change your perspective even if your personality is fixed?

A: Absolutely. While core personality traits tend to stay stable over time, perspective is flexible. Mindfulness, therapy, journaling, and honest connection with others can shift how we interpret pain, trauma, and stress. It’s not about “fixing” your personality—it’s about expanding your lens. Veterans, especially, benefit from reframing experiences not to erase the past but to reclaim agency over how it’s understood.

Q: Why do some veterans delay getting help, even when they're suffering?

A: Many veterans are trained to suppress emotion and prioritize endurance—mental toughness is often rewarded in service. But that same mindset can backfire in healing. The belief that “pain is weakness” or “I should be able to handle this” leads to delay in seeking care. It’s not weakness to reach out—it’s survival evolving. True strength is knowing when to stop carrying the burden alone.